Please, Try Again - 23

Title: Please, Try Again - Chapter 23
Author: vitalspark
Pairing: Frank/Gerard . Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Adam Lazzara, Brendon Urie, William Beckett and Ryan Ross all end up making appearances.
Rating: NC-17 as a whole.
Summary: AU -- "This, was real..." 23 year-old Gerard Way shot to fame after portraying a tortured high school student who turns on his high school in the indie film of the year, immediately generating Oscar Buzz. Thrust suddenly into the spotlight, he's torn between his new hetero 'Hollywood 'It Boy'' status and lifestyle, and the small town homosexual man that he was -- engaged to his 17 year-old lover, Frank Iero.
POV: Third-person.
Authors Note: Gerard is 23, Frank is 17, but this is not a pedophile fic. Their ages are an important note to the story, but it is not all that the story is about.
Dedications: Thank you to everyone who has commented!
Disclaimer: Fake, fake, fake.


All chapters, etcetera, can be found at vitalspark.

:) Enjoy! Let me know what you think, I'm busy at work writing 24 so I can post it tonight.


There was an unusual bounce to Steven’s step when he walked in to the meeting room first thing Monday morning. The past week or so, Steven had been a stressed man during private phone calls with hushed words whispered back and forth. Gerard hadn’t bothered to ask because frankly, he didn’t really care what Steven was cooking up in that head of his anymore.

But the way he walked in on Monday, it was enough to make him curious to know the reason.

“What’s gotten in to you today?” he asked, relaxing back in the chair that he had been sitting in for twenty minutes waiting for Steven to get there. It wasn’t like his manager to be late, so it had to be something important.

“Good, good news,” Steven said, setting a folder down on his desk and taking a seat in his chair. Reaching for his phone, he pressed the button for speaker. “Adam, I want two double lattes in my office for my ten o’clock, you make it happen.” Taking his finger off of the phone, he looked back at Gerard and gave a pleased smile. “Now, the news I’m about to tell you, I don’t want us to jump ahead of ourselves here, but I think it looks very, very promising.”

Gerard was unable to keep a confused expression from crossing over his face. “Okay…” he said slowly, his voice trailing off by the end. “I understand that, but what I don’t understand is what’s going on.”

Drumming his fingertips on the table top, Steven couldn’t contain the smile on his face. Picking up a pen, he twirled it between his fingers as he sat back, staring at the table before his eyes lifted up to meet Gerard’s. Tossing the pen back on to the table, he lifted up his hands in surrender, his smile widening. “Gerard, we may have done it. Something very few actors ever get to accomplish in their career, something so incredible, this will follow your name for years to come.”

By now, Gerard had absolutely no idea what was going on, but was more curious than ever. “Okay Steven,” he said, giving a nod of his head. “Just spit it out already! By the time you tell me, it’s going to be already over.”

Staring at him, Steven’s smile never faded. Sitting up straighter in his chair, he leaned over and rested his elbows against the table. “Gerard,” he said, “I can’t even tell you how big this is. Less than thirty actors have ever achieved this.” Pressing his lips together, he paused and took a deep breath, his eyes shining bright with excitement. “Your debut film was so well-received, your performance was so hailed by critics, important people were so fucking impressed… that there is talk, that come the official announcement from the Academy… you will be nominated, for an Academy Award.”

If Gerard’s heart could have stopped, at that point, it would have. “An Academy Award?” he asked quietly, his voice trailing off in sheer surprise. “Oh, fuck.”

* * *

There was something different about the atmosphere he had stepped in to. Something, that felt right.

Looking around the backstage area, Frank walked slowly through it, as if at any moment someone was going to yell at him to get out of an area that he didn’t belong in. But, at the same time he was feeling that, part of him was also giddy by the slap of the laminate that hung from his belt. The laminate that said, “I belong here.”

There was something about the music industry that he could see was very addicting.

Stepping out from the backstage area, he walked down a small flight of stairs and headed towards the stage. Pete had given him instructions on how to shoot the show, and Frank had just sat there and smiled, nodding along with his instructions. He knew what he was doing, but with Pete basically handing him everything, being a snot to say “I know this already” wasn’t something that Frank was going to do.

Showing his laminate to the guard that stood at the entrance to the photo pit, he stepped past him and into the small aisle way between the crowd and the stage. Looking around, he avoided looking directly in to the eyes of the girls that stood at the barriers, instead looking down at the camera.

Sitting on the metal seat that was attached to his side of the barrier, he placed the camera in his lap and turned it on, fiddling with some of the settings to make sure he would shoot the show properly.

When the lights for the show dropped, he looked up at the stage, and gave a smile.

This felt right.

Standing up, he waited until the lights rose again, displaying the five musicians on stage before positioning himself in front of William, lifting his camera up and taking a shot.

This was right.

* * *

“Gerard, I’m so excited!” Skylar exclaimed, running across the set to him and jumping into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and immediately planting a friendly kiss on his lips.

After all, they were giving the tabloids the impression that they were dating.

Gerard took a quick step back as he nearly lost his balance, his arms immediately moving to hold Skylar up, before she lowered her legs and stood back on the floor. “You heard?” he asked, a confused sound to his voice, but a little shy that apparently, the talk about this had traveled amongst a few people.

“Yeah, Steven told me this morning,” she said, pushing some bangs out of her face. “I think that’s freaking fantastic, do you know how many guys would kill to be in your position?”

Managing a smile, Gerard rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded. “Yeah… I don’t want to assume it… but… yeah, it’s insane.”

Skylar had started to say something, but the director called them back to the set to begin the final scenes they had left to film before their break. Giving him a small smile, she placed her hand on his and gave it a light squeeze, before turning around and heading back towards the set.

Skylar Payne definitely knew how to get people talking.

Gerard could almost hear the mental notes people around him were taking about what they were seeing between the two, the soft sound of a Blackberry being whisked out of a pocket to write a quick email.

People were sick.
And Gerard was playing into their game.

Starting to walk back towards the set, Gerard’s eyes trailed over everyone in the room, the set that was set up in front of him.

Only a few days more, he reminded himself. Then, New Jersey. Frank.

* * *

Patrick flew in to New York on the same day that Pete left to visit his parents. William and Ryan were already gone on their own family vacations, and Carissa was flying in within the next day or two to spend the holidays with them. This made it soothing, for Frank only had to be alone for a couple of hours in the apartment before somebody that he trusted was close by.

If Los Angeles had given him anything, it was a complex about being alone in a big city.

But he didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

“Motherfucker, I can cook for Christmas!” Patrick exclaimed, his hands on his hips as he stared at Frank. “Why does nobody trust me on this?”

Suppressing a smile, Frank gave a small shrug. “I don’t know, because it’s fun as fuck to make fun of you?”

Nodding, Patrick waved his finger at him, leaning against the counter. “That’s it; I’m poisoning your dinner. Mark my words.”

“It wasn’t my idea!” Frank exclaimed, bursting into laughter. “It was Pete’s idea to order in!”

“Well, tell him we won’t need it, because I’m cooking!” Patrick said, shaking his head. “You guys are assholes.”

Watching as Patrick turned around to open a cookbook that he had brought with him; Frank crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, trailing off into his own train of thought.

The holidays so far, sucked. But, the people supporting Frank were trying, and he knew that that was all that mattered.

* * *

He just wanted forget things tonight.

To go out, have a beer, and forget that he was missing Frank.

Telling Skylar to pick a random club, he had just followed along in the car, not even bothering to look at the front of the building as they walked in. What was the point? All this was, was a photo op. A time for people to see them together, talk about it, speculate about what could be happening, and for him to have a beer and try and forget that this is what he had ended up resorting to.

If anyone thought that he was having a good time that night, then they were not looking at the right scene. The party around him was bustling with people talking about past and future events, loud bursts of laughter being heard every so often.

Truthfully, he was more familiar with the bottom of his glass than he was anything that was going on around him.

Stepping around people as he walked through the club, he made his way to the bar, determined to have another drink. Placing the empty glass on the counter, he rubbed the side of his face as he leaned heavily against the bar.

“Jack and coke,” he said gruffly, dropping his hand down to his pocket and pulling out a wadded bill, throwing it in the general vicinity of the drink when it was placed in front of him.

“First of all,” came the bartenders’ voice, a feminine tone to it, the drink being taken out of his hand once he reached to touch it. “You’ll straighten out that bill and hand it to me in a respectful manner. Secondly, you’re three short. I don’t give a fuck who you are; you’re paying the whole charge.”

Stunned for a moment at the sheer audacity of someone talking to him in that fashion, it took him a bit to reassemble himself in his less than sober state, slowly looking up at the bartender who was speaking to him.

Carissa.

Fuck.

A scowl crossing over his lips, he took the bill back from the tap, straightening it out and fishing his hand in his pocket, pulling out a five, setting it on the table in front of her.

“There,” he said shortly, taking the drink back from her and taking a sip. “Keep the change.”

Giving a small laugh, she turned around and slid the cash into a jar, turning back around to face him and picking up a towel, wiping off the bar. “Thank you, for your generosity. If only everyone in your life received the same.”

Snapping his head back after he had turned away from her to find Skylar at her words, his eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?” he spat out. Stepping back to the bar, he leaned over and stared at her, setting the drink on the counter. “Let me tell you something Carissa, you’ve been on this scene for days. I’ve been with him for years, you hear that? Years. That means, you have no fucking right to even begin to make character evaluations on myself, or my fiancé,” he hissed, shoving the drink back across the counter until it fell over the edge, the glass shattering against the floor.

Security immediately stepped up to him, but Carissa held up a hand to have them stop.

Leaning closer to him, she gave him a steely stare, before the edges of her lips curved in a smirk tinged with disgust. “Two things Gerard,” she said. “First, I’d be careful what you said about your love life in areas like this in your drunken stupor, you never know who’s listening. Especially since your career is obviously the most important thing to you. And secondly, he was your fiancé. He left you, remember?”

He moved forward to respond to her but she took her hand down, and the security guards immediately grabbed on to his arms, dragging him out of the club. Protesting the entire way, he stumbled on the concrete when they quite literally threw him out the back door, stumbling into the brick wall across from him.

Leaning against the wall for a few minutes, he sighed and turned around, stumbling against the wall again and sliding down until he was crouching down, just short of sitting on the floor. Resting an elbow on his knee, he held his head in his hands and didn’t think, just sat there.

Skylar came out a few minutes after, looking around the alley until she spotted him against the wall. Giving him an exasperated look she sighed, shaking her head. “You bitched out the bartender?” she asked, “Gerard… just… what the fuck?”

Looking up at her, he sighed as hair fell into his face and he brushed it away, looking down the alley and down at the concrete, pressing his lips together. “That’s Frank’s sister,” he said softly, “she said something, and I just snapped, and I threw the glass back not at her, but, close to her.”

Staring down at him for a few quiet seconds, she let out a soft exhale and looked around them to make sure nobody was around, before kneeling down next to him on the ground. Peering into his face, she brought her fingers to his cheek and stroked lightly, a frown covering her lips. “I don’t even know what to tell you,” she said quietly.

Fully sitting down on the ground he pressed his head back against the wall, taking a deep breath and staring up at the cloudy sky. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice low and bitter. “This is the life I chose.”

* * *

The next morning when Gerard woke up, his hangover was awful and his body ached. Of course, there wasn’t such a thing as a good hangover, but he was hoping for it as he popped a few pills to try and feel better.

Opening one eyelid, he looked out at the dark room surrounding him and searched for the closet object he could tell the time with. Slowly, his arm slid out from beneath the covers that he held tight around him, reaching for his watch that was on the nightstand. Blinking furiously to get the blur out of his eyes at the small object, he sighed when he finally made it out, setting his watch back on the nightstand and quickly sliding his arm back into the warm covers.

So nominations were out, and he had slept right through them.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he sunk back in to a soft sleep, before his eyes reopened and a confused look crossed his face.

If nominations were out, he couldn’t have slept through them. Steven would have been calling him with or without a nomination confirmation.

Reaching out for his phone which was on the nightstand, he flipped it open and raised his eyebrows when he saw fifteen missed calls. He could hear the faint sound of knocking on his hotel room door, the closed door of his bedroom blocking most of the sound.

Groaning, he got up and pulled his shirt from the ground, sliding it over his head and leaving his bedroom. Walking towards the door, he rubbed at his eyes before reaching for the handle, pulling it open to come face to face to Steven.

Who… was laughing. And, he wasn’t alone. Adam, Brendon and Skylar stood behind him.

Passing him into his room, Steven held a bottle of champagne with him, popping the cork and letting the bubbly liquid slid down the bottle, drops falling on to the carpet.

The mere smell of alcohol was enough to make Gerard’s stomach turn, but he just gave a weak smile, closing the door and walking back into the living area.

“Gerard!” Steven exclaimed, grabbing glasses from the table and pouring the champagne in to them, dispensing them around to the sudden group of people in his room. “You’ve done it! You have fucking done it!”

Taking the glass he was handed, he looked down at the liquid and shrugged, taking a sip. Fight a hangover with a little bit of alcohol to make it less painful, he remembered that from college.

Skylar walked up next to him, placing an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Congratulations Gerard.”

Looking over at her, he lifted up an eyebrow before looking back at Steven, shaking his head slightly. “What the hell is going on?” he asked.

“You didn’t get any of my voicemails?” Steven asked, his voice incredulous. “Gerard, you fucking did it! The nominations were read today, you were fucking nominated!”

“I was?” he asked, his eyes widening just a little as he stared at Steven, a wide smile stretching across his lips. Looking down at the glass in his hand, the smile slowly faded into a frown, his eyes returning to Steven. “What was I nominated for?”

This, he wasn’t expecting to feel.

He didn’t feel anything.

Dreaming about this moment for years, thinking about how excited he would be, the things he would say, etcetera. None of it was happening like he had dreamt of.

“Best actor Gerard, best fucking actor! Everyone is talking about it. They can’t believe you got nominated on your first time out, but nobody can stop talking about your performance either, it’s mind-blowing!” Steven exclaimed, giving a loud laugh.

Looking at Steven as he explained what he had been nominated for, Gerard looked from him to Brendon, to Adam, then to Skylar. Each held a bright smile on their face, giving him an appreciative nod when he glanced at them.

Somebody was missing from this celebration.

Somebody that he had always dreamed would be there at this moment.

Giving a weak smile, he looked back at Steven and gave him a small nod. “That’s… that’s really great Steven, I can’t believe this.”

This, this wasn’t what he wanted at all.

“I’m so fucking proud of you Gerard,” Steven continued, leaning up against a table and simply smiling as he looked around. “You know what this means? Skylar, you too. There’s so much buzz around your movie now, so much talk to see what you can do next. There’s so much to do now! Good thing this film is about to end for vacation, there are so many things to line up for that time! Everyone wants to talk to you; there are so many requests for interviews, magazine features. This is the best thing that could have happen for your career Gerard!”

At the mention of his vacation disappearing, he looked at Steven sharply, before his eyes traveled to Skylar, and he could tell that she was catching on, pressing her lips together and looking down at the ground.

Neither Adam nor Brendon returned his glances, either.

When Steven made eye contact with Gerard, he tilted his head to the side at the expression on Gerard’s face. “What’s wrong Gerard, you’re not excited about this? Do you even understand how big this is?”

Sighing, he looked down at his glass before reaching over and placing it on the table. “I understand how big it is Steven,” he said, “believe me, I’ve been dreaming of this moment for years. And now for it to happen…” Trailing off, his eyes moved around the room, filled with only his belongings tossed haphazardly. His shoulders lifting in a shrug as he returned his gaze, he shook his head slowly. “It doesn’t mean anything to me.”

That was not the response that Steven was looking for, and Gerard knew it.

But, he couldn’t help but let a smile slide across his face after he spoke the words.

“This doesn’t mean anything to you?” Steven spit out. “How could it not?”

Looking around once more at everyone that was surrounding him, Gerard wore a slow, steady grin that grew with each second. He understood this now, and he knew that the decision he was making, he knew that it was the right one to make.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and looked back at Steven. “None of this matters anymore,” he said, gaining some confidence in his voice as he talked to him. Gone was the tone of letting Steven convince him out of things, and here, now, was the tone that this was Gerard, being serious, and he wasn’t going to take anything other than exactly what he was saying.

“None of this means anything to me anymore,” he continued. “I know how big this is, and I know how important it is right now to do certain things… but, I’m going to New Jersey. And you can reschedule anything that’s come up today; you can tell them to wait. If that means they don’t want to feature me if they have to wait, then that’s okay. Because right now, there is some place more important that I need to be.”

And with that, he walked into his room, and started to pack his bags.