Please, Try Again - 22

Title: Please, Try Again - Chapter 22
Author: vitalspark
Pairing: Frank/Gerard . Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Adam Lazzara, Brendon Urie, William Beckett and Ryan Ross all end up making appearances.
Rating: NC-17 as a whole.
Summary: AU -- "This, was real..." 23 year-old Gerard Way shot to fame after portraying a tortured high school student who turns on his high school in the indie film of the year, immediately generating Oscar Buzz. Thrust suddenly into the spotlight, he's torn between his new hetero 'Hollywood 'It Boy'' status and lifestyle, and the small town homosexual man that he was -- engaged to his 17 year-old lover, Frank Iero.
POV: Third-person.
Authors Note: Gerard is 23, Frank is 17, but this is not a pedophile fic. Their ages are an important note to the story, but it is not all that the story is about.
Dedications: Thank you to everyone who has commented!
Disclaimer: Fake, fake, fake.


All chapters, etcetera, can be found at vitalspark.

I'm terrible with updating, I know. It's not like I'm trying to ignore this, I promise. I'm usually working on/thinking about it all the time, and coming back here and reading what you guys comment and appreciating it very much, using it to pump me up and finish a chapter, and smacking myself for not updating more. I'm sorry, I'm trying. Life's been a little hectic lately, but I'm trying. Besides, the sequel starts at the end of summer, so, I better get my ass in gear to have it go along with "real time".

Thank you for all your kind comments. I try to always reply to the ones that are posted in this journal, I don't always get to the ones in communities and I apologize.


He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this way.

And now that he felt the fingertips gliding across his skin, he never wanted to let the feeling go.

Frank’s soft whines met his ears, and he closed his eyes and savored them, combing the whines with the touch of his hands and the way his hips lifted to meet every inch of him. This was perfect; this was the best place of his life.

His eyes opening, he gazed in to Frank’s which stared up hopefully at him, his lips full and bruised from prior kisses. Akiss greeting his lips, Gerard sank into the feeling of his fiancés lips, a hand pressing against Frank’s cheek and keeping them together.

He was never letting go.

With a soft sigh the kiss parted, and he re-opened his eyes to look at him. His beautiful fiancé, the one that he worked so hard and long to make a better life for, so that Frank would never have to worry a single day in his life.

Giving him a smile, Frank shifted gently underneath him and continued the firm press of their bodies together, his hands clasping his arms tightly.

And then those lips parted; the lips that he could never get his mind off of, and Frank spoke, his voice soft, fragile.

“Why don’t you love me anymore?”

The cold, hard slap of reality hit him in the worst possible way as he jolted in his sleep, his eyes bursting open and sitting straight up in his bed, staring out at the dark bedroom around him.

Taking deep breaths, Gerard looked around the empty room, to the empty spot in the bed next to him. Reaching out, he felt the sheets, and he felt the pillow.

Everything was cold; Frank had never been there.

Slowly lying back down, he left the sheets to pool around his body, staring up at the ceiling as his breathing stabilized and he woke up further from his dream.

This was a mess. And he had no idea how to fix it.

* * *

Walking in to the studio the past afternoon had felt, different. Pete was by his side when they first walked in through the door, and William, Ryan, and a couple of other guys that Frank didn’t know were all sitting around, having a good chat about a variety of things. Once Frank and Pete neared closer to the group, William looked up and flashed them both a smile, greeting them both by name.

There was nobody there making sure he was acting straight.
There was nobody trying to kick him out of the studio.

There was, however, a man who walked over to him, asking if he knew how to work a camera, and proceeded to thrust a camera lens in his hand, telling Pete he was using Frank as his photographer assistant for the day before whisking him off across the room.

This was by far different, but in a good way.

Handling the cameras and their equipment came naturally to Frank, as he had had experience with photography in high school. The school that he had gone to had required for students to pick up a certain field for a “high school major” to study more in depth with, and since his school hadn’t offered a music major, he had chosen photography.

Ever since Gerard had been working more on the acting thing however, Frank hadn’t focused much at all on taking pictures, save for the first few promo shots of Gerard that he had done for his portfolio.

Changing lens and setting the different aperture speeds as the photo shoot got underway, he would sneak glances up and around at his surroundings, watching everyone with a curious gaze. For the most part, it seemed as everyone was getting along and having an easy going time with it. And there was a lot more laughter, a lot more than he had ever heard on one of Gerard’s sets.

Out of impulse, he checked his cell phone that had been resting in his pocket.

There wasn’t a missed call, but he didn’t know why he had assumed that there would be.

Biting his bottom lip, he grasped his phone tightly in his hand for a brief second before sliding it back in to his pocket, his focus returning to the lenses in front of him.

“Waiting for his call?” Pete’s voice came suddenly, startling Frank as he tried to load a camera with a new lens.

Turning around to look at him, he pursed his lips and looked back down at the camera, properly loading it before setting it on the table. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the camera and off of Pete.

“You don’t have to hide the truth,” Pete said, pulling up a folding chair next to where Frank was working and sitting down on it, his chest pressed against the backrest. “Do you think you’re up to giving him a call, at least letting him know that you’re okay?”

“He knows I’m okay,” Frank mumbled, “it’s not like I’d kill myself over this. I don’t even want to talk to him.”

This time, his phone genuinely was vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, he stared down at the screen to see that it was Carissa calling.

“Gerard?” Pete asked, lifting up an eyebrow.

Sighing, Frank shook his head. “No,” he said, “like he could find my number at this point anyway. It’s Carissa.” Using that as an ending point, he stepped away from the cameras he had finished setting up for the photo shoot and headed to a private corner, sitting down on the wooden floor and answering the phone.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice soft, leaning back up against the wall of the studio and closing his eyes.

“Sounds like you’re having a long day,” Carissa said, amusement filtering through her voice. “Are you doing okay in the city?”

Giving a small smile, he stretched his legs out in front of his body and gave a small nod regardless of the fact that she couldn’t see him. “I’m doing okay,” he said. “I just got settled in to Pete’s the other day, I have my own room which is pretty cool… he’s managing this new band, and I met two of the guys in the band and they’re really nice.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re surrounded by good people,” she said. “Where are you at right now?”

“Um, that band that Pete manages, they’re doing a photo shoot so I went to that and the photographer wanted me to help him with some of the stuff so I’ve been playing with the camera and lenses and shit, it’s really cool.” Reaching up, he picked at a few strands of his bands that he had still not yet cut.

“That sounds really good Frank, I’m happy for you,” she said softly. Giving a pause momentarily, he voice sounded different when she spoke again. “Honestly Frank, are you doing okay? Do you need anything out there? You let me know and I’ll do anything I can to get it to you.”

Biting his lip, Frank moved to the corner and sat down, facing the room in front of him and watching the events.

He saw one of the guy sin the band walk away from the set, heading towards the door to where a young, pretty blonde had just walked in. Giving her an embrace, Frank watched their kiss of greeting and the way the guy, the lead guitarist of the band, kept his arm around her waist protectively as he guided her to the rest of the band, introducing her as his other hand pressed against her stomach.

Looking down, Frank chewed on his bottom lip before his eyes retreated back to the ceiling to keep himself from tearing up.

“Unfortunately,” he started, “the one thing I want, you can’t get for me.”

* * *

This getting used to life without Frank business was wearing on Gerard. He hadn’t honestly realized just how much he relied on Frank for, both pre-fame, and at whatever level he was at now.

Take for example, the fact that his dry-cleaning wasn’t already waiting for him when it was done. Sure, it was Brendon’s job as his personal assistant to pick it up, but when Frank had been in LA he had usually gone and picked it up on his own and Gerard would have whatever he needed available at all times.

Gerard really noticed that Frank was gone the moment he had gone back to the hotel after a long day, and everything was exactly the way tit had been before. When he and Frank had been on better terms – in other words, in New Jersey, Frank had taken it upon himself to run a bath for Gerard so that when he arrived home, he could just immediately ease in to it and unwind from his day.

He had to face it, life had definitely changed from New Jersey.

And the more that Gerard sat here letting events roll around in his head, the more he was seeing everywhere that he had gone wrong.

Now, now he could think of a million things he could have done with Frank. He could have taken him out to dinner in a different part of the city, one where they wouldn’t have been noticed as much, or there had to have been ways of lying to the press.

Then, he wondered – why was he putting so much focus on becoming the next “it boy”, when his dreams in the beginning had been to be taken as a serious actor?

Somewhere, he had lost his path.

* * *

Frank was beginning to feel like he had a family.

Nearing two weeks since he had come to New York, he had spent most of his social time hanging out with the guys in Pete’s ‘baby band’ as he called it. Namely, William and Ryan. Pete kept busy with his business matters and William and Ryan seemed to have adopted Frank easily in to their ‘transplant tripod’ as they called it, because all three of them had come from someplace other than New York.

Ryan was a native of Las Vegas, while William hailed from a suburb of Chicago. The other two guys came from Florida, but Frank rarely saw them unless official band business was going on, so they named their little group the tripod nickname.

Honestly, he was just grateful he wasn’t alone in the city. Starting over was bad enough, he felt he deserved at least one break.

Now, here they were, two weeks until Christmas.

Being in New York City during Christmas?
Didn’t help.

Ryan, William and Pete kept as much of a poker face as they could about it, making sure to advert Frank’s attention whenever the atmosphere got too “romantic” around them if they were hanging out in the city.

It didn’t change the fact however, that William had booked a flight back to Chicago to be with his girlfriend for the holidays, and Ryan’s parents were waiting for him to come back to Las Vegas.

Which left Frank and Pete alone for the holidays.

Frank had no idea what to do.

* * *

Steven had only been too happy to increase Gerard’s workload with the last two weeks before his holiday break dwindling down.

Gerard wasn’t even aware that this many reporters existed.

Photo shoots, reading scripts, more auditions, and barely any time to breathe.

Audition after audition, Gerard had the same feeling after each one. He didn’t get a rush over any script he had read since his debut film, the one that had gathered him the attention he was currently getting in the first place. Even the film he was wrapping up with Skylar, he didn’t feel the rush. The only reason he had taken it was due to Stevens’s suggestion on him filming it given that Skylar was a hot actress of the moment, and it would be a good move for his career. After all these scripts and auditions, not a single film appealed to him.

But yet, he kept auditioning.
This was what he wanted, after all.

Lagging his feet after his last audition of the day, he slowly walked in to the car that was waiting outside for his arrival.

The driver jumped out and walked over to open the door for him, waiting for Gerard to get in all of the way before closing the door and walking back around the car to get behind the wheel. Once they were taking off back towards the hotel, Gerard let out a sigh of relief.

“Long day?” the driver asked, looking through his rearview mirror at him.

Rubbing his temples, he gave a small nod as he leaned back against the seat. “I’ve had better days than today, that’s for sure,” he said, a ragged tone to his voice.

The driver kept silent for a few moments, though his eyes kept returning to Gerard every few seconds. “How’s Frank?” he asked suddenly.

Gerard’s eyes snapped up to him immediately, giving the driver a fixed look. “How do you know Frank?” he asked slowly, unsure of how much the driver knew about them.

The driver shrugged. “When he was your personal assistant I used to drive him to the places he’d go.”

Wiping a few strands of hair out of his face, Gerard continued to watch him. “Ryan, right?” he asked, trying to make sure that was the name that he remembered. “Frank’s mentioned you a couple of times.”

Smiling, Ryan nodded. “That’s me. He’s a real good kid; I haven’t seen him in awhile though. Is he back from his trip yet?”

Giving him a funny look, Gerard’s eyebrows furrowed as he took in what Ryan had said. “Where did he go on this trip?” he asked, his voice steady and firm as he tried to keep himself composed.

“Um…” Ryan started, his eyes returning back to the road. “I think he mentioned New Jersey. Said he had some family back there.”

Pursing his lips together, Gerard stared out of the window as fury filled him. Everybody had to have known that Frank was back in New Jersey, everybody but Gerard.

“It’s um, he’s having a good time out there,” he mumbled, though his voice had now become bitter.

Ryan looked at him again through the rearview mirror, but didn’t say another word as a sly smirk crossed over his lips and he continued to drive Gerard back to the hotel.

* * *

Walking out of the bathroom, Frank tied the towel tighter around his waist and stepped towards the dresser to pull out a shirt.

Carissa had deposited some money in his bank account, saying that it was a gift to help in his starting a new life in New York. He felt a little bad since the money was coming from Carissa’s well-off adoptive father, but he was also grateful for the helping hand.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he dropped the towel after he had put boxers on, sitting on his bed and continuing to dry off.

Aunt Gina had called that morning, asking if he was going to come down to New Jersey for the holidays. He had debated it for a few minutes, but she had confirmed that Gerard was in fact going to be there. After some careful thinking, he declined, promising to visit after Gerard left.

So that left Frank and Pete together for the Christmas Holidays. Pete was going to be flying home to Chicago for a few days before Christmas, but would be back before Christmas Eve since his parents were spending the holidays on a tropical cruise.

After the phone call from Aunt Gina, he had immediately called Patrick. After some sheer manipulation on Frank’s part, Patrick had finally agreed to come out for Christmas. After he was in, Frank had called Carissa, who didn’t need any prodding or convincing at all to come out to New York, even promising to book her flight that day.

So that made it Frank, Pete, Patrick and Carissa for Christmas.
He found it an odd repeat of Thanksgiving.

At least he had somewhere to be for Christmas, and someone to be with, even if it wasn’t exactly the person that he wanted.

* * *

Now that he knew where Frank had gone, he headed to his room quickly upon arriving at his hotel, wanting to make a call in private.

The second he was in his room, he flipped his phone open and dialed Aunt Gina’s number.

The three rings it took for her to answer the phone were antagonizingly painful.

Finally, he heard her voice.

“Hello Gerard, how are you?”

As much as he wanted to jump ahead and demand that she tell him where he was, he held his tongue.

“I want to talk to Frank,” he said slowly, his voice even.

Aunt Gina didn’t even hesitate, a clear sign she was telling the truth. “I’m sorry, but Frank’s not here.”

Giving a ragged sigh, he felt his temper flare up though he tried to keep it at bay. “Look,” he said sharply, before stopping and composing himself.

He spoke again, this time softer. “Look,” he said. “Just, please, tell me where Frank is, I need to know.”

Aunt Gina gave a sigh of her own, holding the phone tightly in her hand. It wasn’t like she enjoyed keeping this sort of secret from him, but she couldn’t condone his behavior to Frank either.

She said, “Gerard now, doesn’t deserve what Gerard then had. I’m sorry sweetheart, but I can’t tell you where he is at this point.”

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before lifting the phone from his ear and closing it.

Sitting on the couch, he just sat there, staring at the dark television screen in front of him.

He had really screwed this up, hadn’t he?

He hunched over and held his head in his hands. What had been happening lately? Everything was too much information to process at once.

So now, Frank had a sister. The gorgeous bartender they had seen at the club, the same one who hadn’t taken any of Gerard’s crap when he had come storming in a few days ago.

Why hadn’t Frank ever told him about her? He wanted to believe that he had given him plenty of opportunities to talk if need be, but when he truly thought about it, he knew that that hadn’t been the case.

Hell, he was pretty sure the morning after that night at the club he had been yelling at Frank about the kiss.

Sighing, he lifted his face up and looked around the hotel room. Everything felt so alone. And when he thought about it, he realized he really was alone out in Los Angeles. And after burning the bridge with Pete, he didn’t have a confidant or a best friend, either.

Right now, he felt like giving up.

* * *

“Fuck!” Pete yelled loudly in the apartment, Frank’s eyes snapping open quickly.

He didn’t have to wonder long about what was going on, as Pete burst in to his room just a few minutes later, his face bright red.

“Frank, are you up?” he asked loudly, though Frank’s eyes were clearly open.

Giving a grunt, Frank adjusted in his bed so he could see Pete a little more clearly. “Yeah, I am now,” he said.

His lips set in a straight line; Frank had to remember when he had ever seen Pete angry, save for the time that Gerard had pissed him off, obviously. “Have you ever shot a show?” he asked, “please say that you have.”

What choice did that give him?

He nodded. “I have,” he said.

Narrowing his eyes, Pete gave him a thoughtful glance.

“Are you lying to me?” he asked.

Frank grinned. “Yes.”

“Fucker!” Pete cursed as he finally took a deep breath and smiled, sitting down on Frank’s bed and staring at the wall across from him silently for a few minutes. He finally spoke.

“So, this is the bands first performance, and it’s a sold out show, and guess how much shit is happening today?” he asked. “I mean, fuck, these kids have genuine industry buzz, and everyone is fucking me and them over today, I’m so stressed right now it isn’t even funny.”

Frowning faintly, Frank chewed on his bottom lip and gave a shrug. “What’s happening?” he asked.

“Well first, I get a call from the kid in charge of the guest list saying he had lost the sheet somewhere on the subway. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how many important people were on that list? I had to put that kid on probation with a recommendation for being fired!”

“All because of losing the list?” Frank asked, surprising filling his face.

Pete nodded, looking at Frank. “I had to. I’ve worked with that guy for two years, but he’s been messing up lately, and for all they know he could have sold the list with all of the contact information, you know?” Groaning, he rubbed his temples briefly. “Then, Ryan calls me this morning telling me he’s got a busted speaker, so we had to rush out this morning and buy him a new one along with extra strings because he’s been snapping them lately. Then! Oh, this is the best part – then, both the photographers and the videographers bail out on me because some big fucking acts are in town paying more, and they took the gig. So…”

By the way Pete trailed off and stared pointedly at Frank, he got the hint right off.

“Me?” he squeaked. “You want me to shoot the show?”

“Would you?” Pete asked, wincing as he waited hopefully for a positive answer. “There’ll be another photographer there with you so if you fuck up the shots that badly it won’t be a big deal. I just – it’s easier to find one photographer this close to the show rather than two, and I’ve already got another videographer so I just… please?”

Frank didn’t think Pete would ever be near begging him to do something.
“I um,” Frank started, stuttering a bit. “Um… okay, yeah, I can do that for you.”

Pete’s eyes instantly lit up. “Really?” he asked, a bright grin covering his lips. “Ugh, thank you so fucking much Frank, you have no idea. I have a camera you can shoot with in my room; I’ll put it in the living room for you!”

“Okay, thank you,” Frank said, watching as Pete ran out of the room, his footsteps much lighter this time.

Sighing, he flopped back against his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

What was he getting himself in to?